If you find yourself confused by social interactions, you aren’t alone. Autistic individuals experience social interactions differently to the neurotypical people around them. This can sometimes make building relationships more difficult and lead to feelings of loneliness or isolation. Although fitting in can be hard at times, there are things we can do to make it easier and surround ourselves with people we enjoy.
Here are a few tips that could help you build important relationships:
- Practice some small talk to such as “How are you?” or “How was your week?” to reduce anxiety around meeting people. They can act as you go-to scripts to help when you’re not sure what to say. Topics can include the weather, favourite TV shows, or music.
- Decide to go to a public space where you are comfortable. You can gradually change this up making sure you don’t feel overwhelmed. Doing so can put you in a space of opportunity for discussion.
- Work on managing social anxiety through self-help resources or therapy. This will help you get to a position where socialising is more manageable.
- Discover services or events for Autistic people such as support groups, online platforms, or other projects. Even skill-based events such as cooking classes can help put you in the right position for getting to know people.
- Reach out to the people around you. Sometimes, as Autistic people we assume that nobody wants to know us. Trust me, I felt that, but reaching out to someone around you either at work, university or to family can help grow connections.
- Focus on the person. Reading how someone is feeling can be hard so ask them directly. If they seem to disconnect (looking around the room, giving short answers, not asking questions back) then that may be a cue to disengage.
These tips can help you get started but I’d advise you to do your own research and find out what works best for you. Remember that every Autistic person's experience is different so what works for one person might not work for another. Find your sweet spot and be unapologetically yourself. That's the best way to foster healthy relationships.
